You just can't buy this kind of publicity...

I was in line at the Compass Bank on South Congress Avenue in Austin yesterday. Minding my own business, thinking about the huge list of errands I had to get done and hoping that I'd be done with my deposit quickly. I was next in line behind this guy, who had just finished robbing the bank. So I got to spend more than an hour waiting to tell the police that the suspect was unshaven, wearing what appeared to be a sweater/jacket and women's sunglasses.

Plus, this picture of me appeared in the Austin American-Statesman, implying to all the world that I am a suspected bank robber. Thank you to all those who emailed me your very amusing comments.

No thanks to those of you who turned me in to Crime Stoppers. Your reward will not be in cash.

Oh, Hilda...

You can always count on me to bring you anything I stumble across related to the fantastic Hilda, created by Duane Bryers. There's a great German gallery here, and another one here.

I start every day looking at my Hilda calendar, and so should you.

The No-Brainer Administration

"Let me give you the no-brainers here."

We seem to be ruled by a lot of no-brainers these days.

This is what we're up against

Chuck Norris endorsing Governor Rick Perry. And yet he's only 5 points ahead.

Check out this audio link to hear it in the words of the man himself. WARNING: This is on the Perry website.

There's a fetish for everything

Courtesy of my brother-out-of-law Chris, I give you Ulli's Roy Orbison in Cling Film Page

'Also,' says Roy, rising. 'You will wrap me in Christmas wrapping paper and convey me to Baden at once.'

That's just exactly the way they talk in Wink, Texas.

Abandon your Kinky fantasies...

Courtesy of Glen Maxey, these numbers come from Kay Bailey Hutchinson's personal pollster, Brian Eppstein. Again, these are Republican numbers.

10/24/06 Eppstein/Bailey Poll
Perry 32%
Bell 27%
Strayhorn 20%
Friedman 9%

This explains a lot, namely why Perry is running all those negative ads against Bell while ignoring Grandma and Kinky entirely.

What it tells me is that you ALL need to get out and vote for Chris Bell. Let Kinky go back to what he's good at - writing books and telling the same old jokes over and over again. Carole Keeton McLellan Rylander Fortensky Strayhorn can go finally just be a grandma with her eHarmony childhood sweetheart. And Rick Perry can live out his dreams of running a beauty parlor in Haskell.

Support for the Iraq War Literally Eroding Before Our Eyes

I saw this minivan in the parking lot of the Austin YMCA this week.

"The President never said the war would last longer than my yellow ribbon magnet."

See how meaningless these labels are?

The question really should be: do you see the world as black and white, or can you distinguish nuanced shades of gray and pick the best option?

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 30% Conservative, 70% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Kennebunkport South

So, a land trust set up by Poppy for W., Jeb, Marlon and the rest has apparently purchased almost 100,000 acres near this place. Is this an exit strategy? If so, they'll be neighbors with Rev. Sun Myung Moon, who owns about 1.5 million acres there, too.

Read all about it here

Google Mariscal Estigarribia Air Base...and get me my aluminum foil helmet

El Brusco Endorses Chris Bell

For Texas Governor.

I really wanted to vote for Kinky. I think he underestimated the workload of a serious campaign. He seems tired and distracted to me when I see him interviewed. Or maybe he's just high.

Strayhorn should have just changed her name once and for all to One Tough Grandma. How hard is that? Instead, she's flushing her money away running these weird eHarmony-esque ads.

Chris Bell's the best bet to beat Rick Perry. But I still can't believe he once worked as a radio reporter. Or that the Democrats conceded the Lt. Governor race.

John Candy As Divine

Isn't that cute? Isn't that true?