Let's Get Copernicus!
When Molly Ivins called the Texas Legislature "The national laboratory for bad ideas," she had public servants like Rep. Warren Chisum (R-Pampa) in mind. But now we know that some of those ideas are imported from elsewhere. Especially some of the really exceptional ones.
Last week, Chisum circulated this helpful memorandum to his colleagues (page one and page two, helpfully provided by the fine folks at The Austin Chronicle). It's copied from Georgia State Rep Ben Bridges who originally circulated a memo to his colleagues that references the website Fixed Earth. You've got to hand it to these creationists: they recognize that Charles Darwin and his dangerous Origin of Species are just symptoms of the vast Jewish/Copernican conspiracy (see "Kabbalist 'Superstring' Physics") designed to return the ancient Pharisees to rightful prominence.
Rep. Chisum is the second-most powerful member of the Texas House behind Speaker Tom Craddick (R-Midland). Sleep well, fellow Texans.
posted by E. B. at 2:44 PM
2 Comments:
Dear Mr. Brusco,
I am writing in regards to your recent post about Fixed Earth. In what I can only believe is a sarcastic tone, you claim we claim evolution science is part of a plan derived by the Pharisees. You are incorrect, sir. We have ample evidence to suggest that in fact evolution is a conspiracy planned, timed and fluidly executed by a species of mega-micro fauna previously known as "sea monkeys." I refer you to our ad on page 21 of Superman, issue dated April 12, 1957. Thank you.
When my ex-wife was in law school, she worked for a state senator who was trying to convince his fellow legislators that Texas should stop executing minors, as the Supreme court of the United States has often suggested. To that end, she helped arrange the testimony in chambers of a psychatrist, who, while summarizing the state of current research into the development of the brain, particularly the relevant fact the the neocortex, seat of moral reasoning and impulse control, is still growing neurons and forming synapses well past the age of majority, (and that testing consistently reflects the functional deficits one would expect in corollation to this fact), was interrupted by a representative from the southeastern part of the state, who wished to register in the strongest terms that this line of reasoning was not pertinent to the discussion of capital punishment.
Jesus, he pointed out, was in favor of capital punishment, and that was good enough for him and the people of Texas.
His reasoning, which he felt was important enough to halt testimony in order to interject, was that Jesus, being divine and having the power to do whatever he willed, allowed himself to be subjected to capital punishment. He also chose not to intervene on behalf of the two criminals with whom he was crucified. And that settled the matter.
The bill never made it out of committee for a floor vote. Not that the votes are recorded, anyway. Not that there's any way to tell whether your representative favors lethally injecting 15 year-olds other than taking him out for golf and a $500 lunch to have a chat.
Post a Comment
<< Home