¡El Brusco!

Completely Moved to VOX

2008-07-09T19:34:00.002-05:00

If you have to have a direct bookmark, you may now read my infrequent posts at

http://elbrusco.vox.com/

It's not any better, though. Sorry.

Two Words: Sunflower Starfish

2007-04-12T19:37:00.000-05:00

Gotta love Planet Earth. Amazing footage.

Bill Clinton Made You A Mix Tape

2007-04-12T19:30:00.000-05:00

Proceeds support The Clinton Center in Li'l Rock.

It's a good mix. I'm convinced he's sincerely sorry and it won't happen again.

Mr. Turdblossom, Your Students

2007-03-25T19:27:00.000-05:00

Students from Janesville, WI met for a candid and wide-ranging discussion with Karl Rove this week. Rove was not under oath, and no transcript is available. And no C-SPAN either, apparently. I hope Karl is holding out for "Inside the Actors' Studio." I'd love to hear him answer the Proust questionnaire.

Hot Tub Tom Misquotes Himself

2007-03-22T20:25:00.001-05:00

There sure has been a lot of Tom DeLay's smug-ass talking head popping up on TV during his recent book tour. Check out this interesting bit where he denies writing that fellow R-Texas asshole Penis Navey was "drunk with power."

I thought only T.O. could misquote himself in his autobiography.

Crazy Ray 1931-2007

2007-03-18T16:05:00.000-05:00

I was saddened by the loss of Dallas Cowboys mascot Wilford "Crazy Ray" Jones this weekend. You can see him here with the official mascot Rowdy. Rowdy looks a little too much like George W. Bush (at least as drawn by Ben Sargent) for me. It's always gonna be Crazy Ray, although as an old-time 'Pokes fan, I still think of him as Whistlin' Ray. The Cowboys never paid him, but they gave him reserved parking at Texas Stadium. Surely, Jerry Jones can find a place for a statue of Ray in the Cowboys massive new Arlington stadium somewhere.

Donations to Ray's family can be made here.

Feels Like The Last Time

2007-03-16T21:30:00.000-05:00

Boston singer Brad Delp, a lonely soul, dead by his own hand and two of his grills. So sad, yet so stunning for sheer bizarre creativity.

Let's Get Copernicus!

2007-02-18T14:44:00.000-06:00

When Molly Ivins called the Texas Legislature "The national laboratory for bad ideas," she had public servants like Rep. Warren Chisum (R-Pampa) in mind. But now we know that some of those ideas are imported from elsewhere. Especially some of the really exceptional ones.

Last week, Chisum circulated this helpful memorandum to his colleagues (page one and page two, helpfully provided by the fine folks at The Austin Chronicle). It's copied from Georgia State Rep Ben Bridges who originally circulated a memo to his colleagues that references the website Fixed Earth. You've got to hand it to these creationists: they recognize that Charles Darwin and his dangerous Origin of Species are just symptoms of the vast Jewish/Copernican conspiracy (see "Kabbalist 'Superstring' Physics") designed to return the ancient Pharisees to rightful prominence.

Rep. Chisum is the second-most powerful member of the Texas House behind Speaker Tom Craddick (R-Midland). Sleep well, fellow Texans.

Every One's a Winner, Babe...

2007-02-04T14:40:00.000-06:00

As a kid growing up in El Paso in the 70s, I used to take the city bus downtown a lot before I had my license. One afternoon, I saw a woman who appeared to be very old carrying three large bags from one of the many "por libra" (per pound) used clothing stores that line the streets of downtown El Paso. As she boarded the red bus that would take her back to Ciudad Juarez, I noticed she was wearing an "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt. I'd be willing to bet she did not speak English, much less have any idea what the writing on her shirt meant. Lots of people have wonderful sites devoted to the joy that non-English speaking people get from wearing shirts with English on them. But I was glad to hear about Reebok and the NFL making sure that whoever loses this year's Super Bowl will live as winners in a land far, far away.

Molly Ivins 1944-2007

2007-02-03T10:44:00.000-06:00

Stupid, stupid cancer! It has robbed us all of a beautiful woman who wrote like a dream, a journalist who used her bounty of humor to speak the truth. And a true Austin celebrity, especially in our Travis Heights/Bouldin axis of South Austin.

You can't find a better tribute to Molly than what her friends at The Texas Observer have on their website.

Who's gonna fill her shoes? I am bereft.

Um, Aren't We Fighting A War Or Something?

2007-01-26T17:24:00.001-06:00

Doing my usual scan of the news-channel talking head shows last night, I noticed at least two shows dealing with the pressing issue of how mean the American Idol judges have been this season. If you can watch this clip all the way through, The ghost of Biggie Smalls will appear behind you the next time you look in a mirror. He will rightly claim your soul.

And God Put These Fossils Here To Test Your Faith...

2007-01-24T18:53:00.000-06:00

So, if you ask a park ranger at the Grand Canyon what the geological age of the canyon is, the ranger is supposed to answer, "no comment."

Worst Radio Contest EVER!

2007-01-17T16:56:00.000-06:00

When wacky morning zoo radio shows go bad, the results can be deadly. In this case, you've probably heard about the death of Jennifer Strange, a mother of three who wanted to win the prize for her kids.

The clowns at KDND-FM Sacramento's Morning Rave who thought up and broadcast the "Hold Your Wee For a Wii" contest were fired today. And the Sacramento County Sheriff and DA's Office considering criminal manslaughter charges.

Anyway, here is the tragic audio. Listen to how these guys spew the medical expertise and talk about the releases.

Needless to say, Jennifer didn't make it to the Justin Timberlake concert.

You Don't Need It, But You Want It Anyway

2007-01-09T16:17:00.000-06:00

Times are changing at Apple, Inc., formerly known as Apple Computer, Inc.

Why limit yourself to computers, when you can make stuff like the iPhone announced this morning at MacWorld SF?

My pockets feel lighter already.

The Hot Seat

2007-01-01T16:10:00.000-06:00

Coaches, it's the season for bowls and playoffs. For some of you, it's time to update the resume for the new year. For those not quite out the door, you're as little as one blown point spread away. It's time to get to know the good folks at redshirted.com, where you can find some of the most popular fire(yournamehere).com domains parked and ready for use.

Is This The Best Footage Available?

2006-12-30T23:16:00.001-06:00


Saddam Hussein goes down swinging.

Nothing to See Here. Move Along.

2006-12-30T09:22:00.000-06:00

Apple investigates itself - and finds nothing wrong. What a surprise! And, as if by magic, Apple stock abruptly ends a week-long fire sale.

Earnings restated in a new SEC filing. This is interesting reading for those who like to read uninteresting stuff. Like me.

As an original owner of an original 128 Kb 1984 Macintosh and a guy who depends on the Mac OS for a great deal of my income, I must disclose that I am a bit biased toward Steve Jobs. Naturally, I was glad to see him beat his rare pancreatic cancer, and I'm glad he's staying out of jail.

Now we can get on to more important topics. Like when will the Adobe Creative Suite be released in a Universal Binary. Oh yeah! Bring on 2007!

They're Gassy!

2006-12-30T09:18:00.001-06:00

The Seeds doing their one hit "Pushin' Too Hard." Can anyone identify this show?
Thanks to Steve from Utley for his tireless mining for garage gold on YouTube

What Would Pete Rozelle Do?

2006-12-16T09:48:00.000-06:00

Dear NFL:

I am a white male, age 42, married, no kids, professional, self-employed, small-business owner with a decent income.

I watch football on TV, specifically NFL games and most specifically the Dallas Cowboys.

I purchase trucks, computers, razor blades, beer, salty snacks, pharmaceuticals, telecom services and just about everything else advertised during NFL broadcasts, except for joining the Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines. I am part of a very desirable demographic for advertisers.

Tonight, I will not be exposed to any of your advertisers' product pitches because I will be listening to the Dallas Cowboys-Atlanta Falcons game on the radio. Or maybe not if there's something better on TV.

And it's all because you have chosen to hold me and the rest of my sought-after Men 18-54 advertising demographic up as a bargaining chip in your fight with Time-Warner Cable, my local provider.

Let's face facts: by choosing to be intractable with each other, both the NFL and Time-Warner have disrespected the audience. And the audience is your product that you sell to your advertisers. By prolonging this impasse, you are in effect attacking your future earnings.

Believe me, I'm plenty upset with Time-Warner, too, and I've let them know about it. But the NFL has the most at stake with your three year-old NFL Network. The NFL became the most popular, highest-rated televised sport in the USA by understanding the importance of reaching my demographic.

Do you really want to mess that up?

I would advise you to stop your pissing match, work this out right away, and seek a compromise. Your advertisers want me and my cohorts to buy their stuff.

Happy Chanuka,

El Brusco

The Dictator's Haberdasher

2006-12-10T19:04:00.000-06:00

If you want to wear a hat like this, you've got to break a few eggs.

He's Running for President! And He's Hispanic! No, Really!

2006-12-07T21:07:00.000-06:00

He's running! No, wait, he's not running...yet!

If we have to have politicians, I say that they should be New Mexico politicians.

Wouldn't he do better at the polls with a vowel at the end of his name, though? Señor Richardson-o, perhaps?

Yet Another AWESOME CNN Headline

2006-12-01T23:21:00.000-06:00

I don't know what this story will be headlined by the time you see it but for most of the evening it has read:

High court takes 'Bong Hits for Jesus' case

That's actually the first URL I've seen with the identifier "scotus.bonghits" in it, now that you mention it.

Good to see Ken Starr back in action, though.

High court. Good one.

Man on the Moon

2006-11-29T20:57:00.001-06:00

All Michael Richards, all week. And nobody mentions this golden moment of utter shit-headedness from back in the day.

I want me a silk tour jacket like Jack Burns.

If you are reading this post, that means Blogger and YouTube are working together again, the way it oughta be.

Your Good Dog, Richard

2006-11-22T21:15:00.000-06:00

Whenever I think of Robert Altman, I think of this uncharacteristic movie. The always amazing Phillip Baker Hall plays Nixon on the eve of his resignation. He pulls out his revolver, a bottle of Chivas, and his favorite tape recorder and rambles off a letter to his late mother. Or his last will and testament. Or a suicide note. It's really hard to say.

Essentially, this is a filmed one-man show, and as such it lacks all the stuff we expect from Altman as far as densely-layered dialogue and soundtrack. But there's just a great interplay between camera and the language that it really takes the often stagy monologue to a place that's quite interesting. It's hard for me to imagine these lines sounding better on a stage.

Of course, if you're looking for a great obscure Altman film, it's hard to go wrong. Sad to lose another American original. Stupid cancer.

Another Hilda Plug

2006-11-22T19:00:00.000-06:00

I plan to get one, as usual, for 2007. Don't you want one too?

At Least Michael Richards Only Died On Stage

2006-11-22T18:06:00.000-06:00

I was saddened to read about the death of Walid Hassan in the Sunni-Shiite civil war in Iraq. If anyone finds some video of Walid or his show Caricature, please send it on. I want to see if it's funnier than the last Albert Brooks movie.

It's a Major Award

2006-11-22T18:01:00.000-06:00

First the Ham-handed Parody Commercials...and now this. The ultimate N.G.O. around the El Brusco compound come Peacock Day.

Roll Me Over And Turn Me Around...

2006-11-19T19:39:00.000-06:00

Made my week.

Hook 'Em, Phil!

Courtesy of (stolen from) cherryjet.

Tom DeLay's Seat Cover Redux

2006-11-19T19:33:00.000-06:00

While Blogger wouldn't let me in last week, this was what I was reading. Houston Chronicle - the damn thing's fact-pact!

Is Blogger Back?

2006-11-19T19:32:00.000-06:00

Well, I converted to the new Blogger. Then everything went black...

Are we back on yet?

Hungry for Victory

2006-11-13T10:28:00.000-06:00

Mizzou quarterback Chase Daniel caught on camera. Oops.

Whatever, Weird Al...

2006-11-13T10:23:00.000-06:00

Okay, the elections are over for a couple of years. Time to get back to the purpose of this blog: mindless chatter about other stupid shit I've found.

As a Texas Longhorn fan, Saturday night was not a whole lot of fun, football-wise. I blame this guy for knocking UT quarterback Colt McCoy out of the game with his songs. What other explanation could there be?

Off The Table?

2006-11-11T09:22:00.000-06:00

Don't make any rash promises. Let's just start by accounting for all Bremmer's missing Coalition Provisional Authority and see where it goes from there, okay?

Personally, I'd be content to have a trial AFTER January 21, 2009. Does that work for you?

If You Can Stomach It...

2006-11-11T09:11:00.000-06:00

The danger with owning a big, noisy, nasty dog is that it can snap and turn on its owner. On Wednesday while driving around Austin, I decided I'd make myself listen to Limbaugh and see how he was spinning the bloodbath.

After hearing Limbaugh say he was liberated from carrying the water for "people at the top of the Republican Party who don't deserve my support" the day after the election, I was intrigued by this rambling take on why the Republicans lost so completely on Tuesday.

Keep in mind that the exit polls show that the evangelical base turned out in roughly the same numbers as 2004.

I predict Rush'll be back on the Hillbilly Heroin by the time Pelosi's elected Speaker. If he's not already.

Blue Light Specials

2006-11-10T12:35:00.000-06:00

Over at the Kinky Store, only the action figures are on sale at this point. It kinda makes me think the whole point of Kinky's campaign was to sell t-shirts, caps and mugs. He certainly can't have any campaign debt, can he?

Hot Tub Tom Can't Just Shut up

2006-11-10T12:29:00.000-06:00

All I can think is that he must think he's got a future as a TV pundit. If I were looking at a prison sentence like Hot Tub Tom, I might do as my Dad often advised and "lay low until the heat's off."

His Hannity & Colmes appearance was more entertaining, but Murdoch's crack team of attorneys had it pulled down from YouTube before I could link to it. Bastards.

BTW, this is a new linking scheme to YouTube that should not crash your Safari browser. It works on mine, anyway. You really should get Firefox, anyway. If it works, I'll continue to use it. Call me a flip-flopper if you'd like.

Goodbye to That Frothy Mix...

2006-11-07T23:56:00.001-06:00

I for one will not miss Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA). He will retire to a comfortable K Street lobbying position, but he will forever be a part of our American lexicon, thanks to the inimtable Dan Savage.

Au revoir, Senator.

Forget the Voting...Let's Settle This Like Men

2006-11-07T23:53:00.000-06:00

This is Texas, where we take our electoral battles into our own hands.

Keep in mind, it's the Evangelical Christian who started the fight.

Hook 'em!

Congress Needs Courage

2006-11-05T22:47:00.000-06:00

Here in the Lone Star State, we're looking at a virtual sweep for incumbent Republicans and further marginalization and demoralization of the Democratic Party and the Independent movement.

Our mid-term gerrymander was so well-engineered by Tom DeLay that it will stand as a monument to him for years to come. It's certainly more fitting than the statues and elementary schools that will never be built in his name.

I don't think we'll see a better chance to replace our terrible Republican incumbents anytime soon. After the 2003 re-districting, my own neighborhood was split, literally block-by-block, between Rep. Lloyd Doggett (D-Austin) and Rep. Lamar Smith (R-San Antonio). We were moved into Smith's district for the last term, but the courts have now moved us back into Doggett's for the next Congress.

In a way, I miss having the opportunity to work against Lamar Smith, who deserves to be sent immediately back to the private sector. Smith sits on the Ethics Committee, which means he actively ignored the dalliances of Tom DeLay, but also Bob Ney, Duke Cunningham, William Jefferson, and Mark Foley, to name just the more obvious cases. Smith was a recipient of DeLay's campaign money and a contributor to his defense fund.

I will vote to re-elect Lloyd Doggett and I will be happy to be Represented by him in Congress. But I will miss the chance to vote for John Courage, a genuinely good candidate and certainly not a professional politician. I really do believe that if the courts had not removed this largely progressive slice of South Austin from Smith's district, we could have defeated him. Now, it's up to the rest of Lamar Smith's constituents to fire Smith's sorry, enabling ass.

Reality Has a Notorious Liberal Bias

2006-11-05T22:30:00.000-06:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, once again Frank Rich in Today's NYT says everything so so very well this weird campaign season.

But tonight, we eat shrimp

2006-11-03T18:41:00.000-06:00

If I should be so lucky, I would be 84 years old when we run out of seafood. I love eating seafood, and I'm sure I'll still want to eat some seafood at that sprightly age. If you are younger, and you also enjoy eating seafood, you might be concerned as well.

Less Bandwidth, More Crap

2006-11-03T12:51:00.000-06:00

All video posts have been moved to sidebar as regular links instead of transfer-gobbling YouTube feeds. Who has time for that.

Anyway, belated Happy Halloween! You know how behind I can get.

Who Really Owes The Troops An Apology?

2006-11-02T11:21:00.000-06:00

Find out how your representatives in Congress voted on issues that matter to veterans and those fighting on our behalf.

For the record, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison gets a D+. That's pretty bad, except that Senator John Cornyn managed to get a D-.

You just can't buy this kind of publicity...

2006-10-31T16:39:00.000-06:00

I was in line at the Compass Bank on South Congress Avenue in Austin yesterday. Minding my own business, thinking about the huge list of errands I had to get done and hoping that I'd be done with my deposit quickly. I was next in line behind this guy, who had just finished robbing the bank. So I got to spend more than an hour waiting to tell the police that the suspect was unshaven, wearing what appeared to be a sweater/jacket and women's sunglasses.

Plus, this picture of me appeared in the Austin American-Statesman, implying to all the world that I am a suspected bank robber. Thank you to all those who emailed me your very amusing comments.

No thanks to those of you who turned me in to Crime Stoppers. Your reward will not be in cash.

Oh, Hilda...

2006-10-30T19:48:00.000-06:00

You can always count on me to bring you anything I stumble across related to the fantastic Hilda, created by Duane Bryers. There's a great German gallery here, and another one here.

I start every day looking at my Hilda calendar, and so should you.

The No-Brainer Administration

2006-10-30T19:39:00.000-06:00

"Let me give you the no-brainers here."

We seem to be ruled by a lot of no-brainers these days.

This is what we're up against

2006-10-28T14:00:00.000-05:00

Chuck Norris endorsing Governor Rick Perry. And yet he's only 5 points ahead.

Check out this audio link to hear it in the words of the man himself. WARNING: This is on the Perry website.

There's a fetish for everything

2006-10-28T11:48:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of my brother-out-of-law Chris, I give you Ulli's Roy Orbison in Cling Film Page

'Also,' says Roy, rising. 'You will wrap me in Christmas wrapping paper and convey me to Baden at once.'

That's just exactly the way they talk in Wink, Texas.

Abandon your Kinky fantasies...

2006-10-28T11:24:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of Glen Maxey, these numbers come from Kay Bailey Hutchinson's personal pollster, Brian Eppstein. Again, these are Republican numbers.

10/24/06 Eppstein/Bailey Poll
Perry 32%
Bell 27%
Strayhorn 20%
Friedman 9%

This explains a lot, namely why Perry is running all those negative ads against Bell while ignoring Grandma and Kinky entirely.

What it tells me is that you ALL need to get out and vote for Chris Bell. Let Kinky go back to what he's good at - writing books and telling the same old jokes over and over again. Carole Keeton McLellan Rylander Fortensky Strayhorn can go finally just be a grandma with her eHarmony childhood sweetheart. And Rick Perry can live out his dreams of running a beauty parlor in Haskell.

Support for the Iraq War Literally Eroding Before Our Eyes

2006-10-28T11:09:00.000-05:00

I saw this minivan in the parking lot of the Austin YMCA this week.

"The President never said the war would last longer than my yellow ribbon magnet."

See how meaningless these labels are?

2006-10-24T08:51:00.000-05:00

The question really should be: do you see the world as black and white, or can you distinguish nuanced shades of gray and pick the best option?

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 30% Conservative, 70% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Kennebunkport South

2006-10-21T17:19:00.000-05:00

So, a land trust set up by Poppy for W., Jeb, Marlon and the rest has apparently purchased almost 100,000 acres near this place. Is this an exit strategy? If so, they'll be neighbors with Rev. Sun Myung Moon, who owns about 1.5 million acres there, too.

Read all about it here

Google Mariscal Estigarribia Air Base...and get me my aluminum foil helmet

2006-10-16T09:25:00.000-05:00

El Brusco Endorses Chris Bell

For Texas Governor.

I really wanted to vote for Kinky. I think he underestimated the workload of a serious campaign. He seems tired and distracted to me when I see him interviewed. Or maybe he's just high.

Strayhorn should have just changed her name once and for all to One Tough Grandma. How hard is that? Instead, she's flushing her money away running these weird eHarmony-esque ads.

Chris Bell's the best bet to beat Rick Perry. But I still can't believe he once worked as a radio reporter. Or that the Democrats conceded the Lt. Governor race.

John Candy As Divine

2006-10-15T23:29:00.000-05:00

Isn't that cute? Isn't that true?